Mudline Archive

What a long, strange strip it's been

Welcome to the Doonesbury Mudline Archive!

  • May 27, 2015

    | May 27, 2015
    Chuck Norris on Obama: "Has literally helped build the environment for the Apocalypse, as defined by both Muslims and Christians."....Lloyd Grove on Ann Coulter: "Forever tossing turds into liberals' punch bowls."....Seymour Hersh on himself: "I am a huge pain in the ass."....Art Garfunkel on Paul Simon: "I created a monster."....Neil deGrasse Tyson on humans: "The dinosaurs never saw that asteroid coming. What's our excuse?"....
  • May 11, 2015

    | May 11, 2015
    Sean Hannity on Jon Stewart: "A sanctimonious jackass."....Jack Mirkinson on Morning Joe: "A nearly fact-free echo chamber of horror and doom where the same 15 centrist pundits trade banal judgments...A bright, shining symbol of the absolute drivel that is our mainstream campaign coverage."....Seymour Hersh on Obama administration's account of killing OBL: "Lies, misstatements and betrayals."....CNN's Peter Bergen on Hersh OBL story: "A farrago of nonsense."....Former CIA Deputy Director Michael Morell on Hersh story: "I stopped because every sentence I was reading was wrong."....Sen. Ted Cruz on Washington: "Profoundly broken."....Sen. Rand Paul on Washington: "Horribly broken."....Mike Huckabeen on Washington: "A roach motel."....Stephen Colbert: "Everyone who denies climate change has the same stirring message; 'We don't know what the f*** we're talking about.'"....Kristen Stewart on fame: "The worst thing in the world."....
  • April 28, 2015

    | April 28, 2015
    Stephen King: "Cruz, Paul and Rubio, all running for president. Hey, I thought I was supposed to write the horror stories."....Salman Rushdie on writers protesting PEN's honoring Charlie Hebdo at gala: "Six pussies. Six authors in search of a bit of character."....Sen. Rand Paul on Sen. Lindsey Graham and Sen. John McCain: "Essentially the lapdogs for President Obama...Wrong about every policy issue over the last couple decades."....Graham on Rand Paul's foreign policy: "Just doesn't understand...Has displayed...naivete since he came to the Senate."....Paul on Hillary Clinton: "Dereliction of duty...Not doing her job."....Gov. Scott Walker on HRC: "I doubt that [she] has ever been to Kohl's before, let alone shopped in the last 15 to 20 years."....Former WH press secretary Dana Perino on Sen. Harry Reid: "An absolutely poisonous figure in Washington, D.C., he's been a disaster for the country."....Don Imus on Perino: "She sucks and her book sucks."....Daily Beast's Russell Saunders on Dr. Phil: "A crass pantomime of psychology...Makes Dr. Joyce Brothers look like Carl Jung by comparison."....
  • April 20, 2015

    | April 20, 2015
    Roseanne Barr on Hillary Clinton: "Seems like every other Democrat...She's the same old s***."....Maureen Dowd on Clinton in Iowa: "Acted as though she were following dating tips from the 1950s advice columnists to women trying to 'trap' a husband."....Conan O'Brien writer Andres du Bouchet re late night comedy on other shows: "Needs a mother****ing shakeup. No celebrities, no parodies, no pranks, no mash-ups or hashtag wars...and shove your lip-synching up your ass."....O'Brien: "I wish one of my writers would focus on making my show funnier instead of tweeting stupid things about the state of late night comedy."....NY Daily News headline re Dr. Oz: "Sack This Quack!"....
  • April 8, 2015

    | April 07, 2015
    Tulsa policeman restraining unarmed man dying after being shot, who complained he couldn't breathe: "F*** your breath!"....Valerie Plame on Judith Miller's WSJ column: "Your attempt to re-write history is both pathetic and self-serving."....Col. Lawrence Wilkerson on Iran agreement: "Has win-win written all over it...My political party, at least some of them -- the 47 for example who signed the letter to the Ayatollah -- they want war."....Sen. Mark Kirk: "Neville Chamberlain got a better deal from Adolph Hitler...Going to end with a mushroom cloud somewhere near Tehran."....former Rep. Michele Bachmann: "Barack Obama is for the 300 million souls of the United States what Andreas Lubitz was for the 150 souls on the German Wings flight - a deranged pilot flying his entire nation into the rocks."....Bill O'Reilly: "I think I trust Iran more than I trust the American press."....Stephen King on Indiana's Religious Freedom Restoration Act: "You can frost a dog turd, but it's still a dog turd."....Donald Trump on One Direction: "I never like them staying in my hotels."....