Mudline Archive

What a long, strange strip it's been

Welcome to the Doonesbury Mudline Archive!

  • October 31, 2014

    | October 31, 2014
    Putin spokesman Dmitry Peskov on U.S. journalists reporting that the Russian president may have health problems: "They should shut their trap."....NJ Gov. Chris Christie at press event, to man criticizing the slow post-Sandy response: "Sit down, and shut up."....Israeli defense minister Yoshe Yaalon on John Kerry: "Obsessive and messianic."....anonymous Obama administration official on Israeli PM Netanyahu: "A chickenshit...He's got no guts."....SCLC co-founder Rev. Joseph Lowery on Internet Crosscheck program to scrub voter rolls: "Jim Crow all over again."....UC Berkeley student petition for preventing Bill Maher from speaking on campus: "A blatant bigot and racist."....RNC ad: "What's President Obama doing? Making plans to bring terrorists from Guantanamo to our country. Ignoring the Constitution, Congress, and the American people."....Rep. Mick Mulvaney on GOP: "We've never told folks what we stand for. We've told them that we're not Obama."....Hannibal Burress on Bill Cosby: "Has the f***ing smuggest old black man public persona, that I hate: 'Pull your pants up, black people. I was on TV in the 80s. I can talk down to you because I had a successful sitcom.' Yeah, but you raped women, Bill Cosby. So, brings you down a couple of notches."....
  • October 24, 2014

    | October 24, 2014
    Former CIA director Leon Panetta on Congress: "Has a hard time trying to find the bathrooms in the capital."....Russian Tennis Federation president Shamil Tarpishchev on Serena and Venus: "The Williams brothers."....David Horowitz: "There's no community that's more racist in America than the black community. And everybody knows it, but nobody will say it."....Chris Brown on Ebola: "A form of population control."....WI Gov. Scott Walker on the minimum wage: "I don't think it serves a purpose."....NJ Gov. Chris Christie: "I'm tired of hearing about the minimum wage. I really am."....Ann Coulter on GOP appeal to Hispanics: "Instead of constantly sucking up to a group of people who will never vote for you, how about appealing to the other voters who are just going to say home and say 'Screw you.'"....Glenn Beck on Hillary Clinton: "You want to talk about a woman who won't stand up for herself, a woman who is repeatedly insulted and treated like trash while her husband is out philandering and hooking up with any hot woman, anything that moves in a skirt? You want to talk about something humiliating to women, it's the way she allows herself to be treated."....NY congressional challenger Nan Hayworth on her opponent: "Sean Maloney is full of baloney."....
  • October 15, 2014

    | October 15, 2014
    Agenda Project Action Fund online ad on GOP-Ebola: "If you die, blame them."....NRCC's Andrea Bozek on APAF: "If they were real ads, they'd put them on TV."....Joe Biden on GOP: "They have no judgment."....Tea Party Patriots co-founder Jenny Beth Martin on Biden: "Could benefit from some remedial education on his own judgment...Has sadly managed to parlay his vice presidency into a late-night TV punchline."....Russell Brand on democracy: "Why vote? We know it's not going to make any difference."....Johnny Rotten on Brand and his advice: "A bumhole...The most idiotic thing I've ever heard."....Laura Ingraham on CDC Director Thomas Frieden: "Becoming the 'Baghdad Bob' of the health care community."....Bill O'Reilly on Frieden's opposition to flight bans: "A dumb and dangerous ruse, and [he] is the chief propagandist."....Ursula K. Le Guin on Amazon: "Is using censorship to gain total market control so they can dictate to publishers what they can publish, to authors what they can write, to readers what they can buy."....Agent Andrew Wylie: "If Amazon is not stopped, we are facing the end of literary culture in America."....Sen. Mitch McConnell on Obamacare: "The worse piece of legislation in the last half-century."....
  • October 3, 2014

    | October 03, 2014
    Leon Panetta joke excised from Gridiron speech due to Cheney's ill health at the time: "Looking back on my career, I've been a Republican, a congressman, and White House chief of staff, and a defense secretary. Come to think of it, I've done everything that Dick Cheney has done. Except the guy I made sure got shot in the face was Osama bin Laden."....Rep. Steven F. Lynch to Secret Service Director Julia Pierson, testifying before House panel: "I wish to God you protected the White House like you're protecting your reputation here today."....Fox News Channel co-host Greg Gutfeld on Obama: "Bashes FNC more than ISIS, and we don't behead anybody."....Quincy Jones: "Today, being a pop star is about two things: personality and scandal. Every time someone puts out an album now, you get a DUI or shoot somebody. It's a problem."....Steve Steward on U2's free Apple album: "It's like Guy Fieri showing up at a restaurant and quietly setting a chili dog onto everyone's plate, because who doesn't love chili dogs?"....
  • September 26, 2014

    | September 26, 2014
    Former French president Nicolas Sarkozy on same-sex marriage: "Humiliating families and humiliating people who love the family."....Karl Rove on AG Eric Holder: "A partisan hack...Good riddance."....Charles Krauthammer on Obama: "Clearly a narcissist."....Energy corp. exec Robert Murray: "The insane, regal administration of King Obama."....ESPN'S Keith Olbermann on NFL commish Roger Goodell: "An enabler of men who beat women."....ESPN's Bill Simmons: "How the hell does Roger Goodell still have a job?"....Julian Assange: "Every time you go to a party and take a picture and post that picture on Facebook, you're being a rat. You're being a narc."....John Cusack on Hollywood: "It's a whorehouse and people go mad."....John Oliver on Donald Trump: "A clown made of mummified foreskin and cotton candy."....