Say What? Archive

What a long, strange strip it's been

Welcome to the Doonesbury Say What? Archive

Say What?

February 20, 2014

"Russian Olympic hockey coach Zinetula Bilyaletdinov, at a press conference after his team was eliminated from medal contention:Reporter: "You know, your predecessor was eaten alive after the Olympics."Bilyaletdinov: "Well then, eat me alive right now."Reporter: "No, I mean..."Bilyaletdinov: "Eat me, and I won't be here any more."Reporter: "But we have the world championship coming up!"Bilyaletdinov: "Well then, there will be a different coach because I won't exist any more, since you will have eaten me."

February 18, 2014

"I would like to professionally continue my education and hopefully become an attorney. I think that's the best way to stop the miscarriage of justice that happened to me from happening to somebody else...[I am] a scapegoat [for] the government, the president, the attorney general...I don't know what they're thinking or why they're thinking it, all I know is that they're doing it. I don't know what agenda they have."

– George Zimmerman, who was acquitted in the killing of Trayvon Martin

February 17, 2014

"The Founding Fathers...put certain restrictions on who gets the right to vote. It wasn't you were just a citizen and got to vote...One of those was you had to be a property owner. And that makes a lot of sense, because if you're a property owner you actually have a vested stake in the community."-- Tea Party Nation president Judson Phillips"The Tom Perkins system is: You don't get to vote unless you pay a dollar of taxes... But what I really think is, it should be like a corporation. You pay a million dollars, you get a million votes."-- Silicon Valley entrepreneur Tom Perkins"

February 14, 2014

"It's an absolute infringement on people's beliefs. What's being taught is just as much faith and, you know, just as much pulled out of the air as, say, any religion."

– Missouri state Sen. Rick Brattin, whose bill would allow parents to have their kids opt out of any class where evolution is being taught

February 13, 2014

"As it turned out, that was maybe a good thing that he had a 100-round magazine, because it jammed. If he had four, five, six 15-round magazines, there's no telling how much damage he could have done until a good guy with a gun showed up."

– CO state Rep. Bernie Herpin, referring to the Aurora shooting while arguing for overturning a new ban on high-capacity mags

February 12, 2014

"An earlier version of this story incorrectly stated [that Christie chief spokesman Michael] Drewniak referred to the Port Authority's executive director as a 'piece of crap.' While Drewniak did call him a 'piece of excrement,' it was David Wildstein who referred to the executive director as a 'piece of crap.'"

– correction issued by New Jersey's Star-Ledger

February 11, 2014

"Marijuana leads to pacifism and communist brainwashing."-- Federal Bureau of Narcotics chief Harry J. Anslinger, 1948"It really puzzles me to see marijuana connected with narcotics...dope and all that crap. It's a thousand times better than whiskey -- it's an assistant, a friend."-- Louis Armstrong"

February 10, 2014

"The Bible...makes it plain that dinosaurs and people must have lived together...If the Bible's right (and it is!), dinosaurs must have lived within the past thousands of years."-- creationist Ken Ham"[Bishop Ussher] added up the dates listed in Genesis and he came up with the world had been around for 6,000 years. [That] is just nonsense and I think it's time we come off of that stuff and say this isn't possible...You can't just totally deny the geological formations that are out there. Let's be real. Let's not make a joke of ourselves."-- Pat Robertson on Ham"

February 07, 2014

"Right now, Jesus himself couldn't be the Speaker and get 218 Republicans behind something."

– Rep. Patrick J. Tiberi

February 06, 2014

"We sent them an invoice for our musical services considering they had gone ahead and used our music without our knowledge and used it as an actual weapon against somebody."

– Skinny Puppy keyboardist cEvin Key, on billing the U.S. military $666,000 after a Gitmo guard / fan told them their music had been used to torture detainees