Say What? Archive

What a long, strange strip it's been

Welcome to the Doonesbury Say What? Archive

Say What?

September 08, 2014

"The House's most unique and courageous conservative seeks smart, happy interns (of all ages and backgrounds) for the remainder of the year...Mushy pleasers/appeasers keep walkin'. HINT: vapid granolas who fear guns, hate babies, are ashamed of America, and think Islamic terrorists and illegal aliens are just misunderstood will not be comfortable here."

– Rep. Steve Stockman ad for interns

September 06, 2014

"I want it to be Hollywood all the way. I don't want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents...I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag. And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyonce's."

– Joan Rivers on her funeral

September 04, 2014

"We cannot just stand idly by as Christian values and morals are trampled... Jerry Jones has betrayed American values, Christian values, and his own city's values. The people of Dallas -- and Christians all across this land -- are about to make him pay a huge financial price. The Cowboys are no longer America's team."

– press release from group calling itself American Decency, claiming the signing of Michael Sam represents "the deterioration of decency in American sports"

September 03, 2014

"“If I want to, I can take Kiev in two weeks."

– Vladimir Putin

September 01, 2014

"The worst day of my political life was when President George W. Bush signed McCain-Feingold into law in the early part of the first administration."

– Sen. Mitch McConnell

August 29, 2014

"Seventy-four percent of whites and just thirty-six percent of blacks have a great deal or fair amount of confidence in the police officers in their communities to not use excessive force on suspects."

– from a recent PEW Research poll

August 28, 2014

"Don't lose too much weight now. I like my girls chubby."

– unnamed male colleague to Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand after she shed pregnancy pounds, as recounted in her new book

August 26, 2014

"We're in the most dangerous position we've ever been in as a nation."

– Sen. Jim Inhofe, on ISIS

August 25, 2014

"...The densely layered messages in the holy texts of Islam have very little to do with the mindset of wannabe holy warriors, many of whom are more or less self-taught. Two who recently traveled from Birmingham, U.K., to Syria only to be arrested on their return reportedly learned about their faith by ordering Islam for Dummies on"-- Chrisopher Dickey in Daily Beast article on "hip-hop jihadists""

August 22, 2014

"If you really believe in standing up to those threatening the Christian way of life, how about putting your money where your mouth is, taking a direct flight to Iraq and picketing the people threatening to behead Christians if they don't convert? I will personally pay for every member of the Westboro Baptist Church to fly to Iraq right now. I'll even fly you first class and pay the carbon offset."

– comedian and TV personality Adam Hills, on WBC's plan to picket Robin Williams' funeral