Say What? Archive

What a long, strange strip it's been

Welcome to the Doonesbury Say What? Archive

Say What?

February 27, 2014

"What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and a catfish. One has whiskers and stinks, and the other is a fish."-- private-equity executive Paul Queally at the Wall Street secret society Kappa Beta Phi annual dinner"What's the biggest difference between Barney Frank and a Fenway frank? Barney Frank comes in different-size buns."-- Paul Queally"In Wall Street land we'll take our stand, said Morgan and Goldman. But first we better get some loans, so quick, get to the Fed, man."-- investment banker Warren Stephens, while wearing a Confederate cap, to the tune of "Dixie""Can you fuckin' believe Lasry up there? He just gave me a ride in his jet a month ago."-- Fortress Investment Group founder Michael Novogratz, at the same dinner"I believe that God has a plan for all of us. I believe my plan involves a seven-figure bonus."-- new society members, singing to the tune of "I Believe""What happens at the St. Regis stays at the St. Regis."-- Kappa Beta Phi motto"

February 26, 2014

"I don't expect to be in the room or will I do anything to prevent you from obtaining a contraceptive. However, once a child does exist in your womb, I'm not going to assume a right to kill it just because the child's host (some refer to them as mothers) doesn't want it."

– VA state Sen. Steve Martin, in response to a Valentine's Day card asking him to protect women's reproductive health options including contraception and safe, legal abortion

February 25, 2014

"It will know you better than your intimate partner does. Better, perhaps, than even yourself."

– Ray Kurzweil on the future of Google, where he serves as director of engineering

February 24, 2014

"How many people can pray that that's how they wanted to die, and got exactly what they pray for? Not many."

– Cody Coots, on his father, Pastor James Coots, who was killed by a snake he was handling

February 22, 2014

"A Chicago communist-raised, communist-educated, communist-nurtured subhuman mongrel..."

– Ted Nugent on President Obama

February 21, 2014

"This invalid has brought shame upon us."

– Russian political leader Vladimir Zhirinovsky on four-time medalist Evgeni Plushenko, who withdrew from skating competition after re-injuring his back during warmups

February 20, 2014

"Russian Olympic hockey coach Zinetula Bilyaletdinov, at a press conference after his team was eliminated from medal contention:Reporter: "You know, your predecessor was eaten alive after the Olympics."Bilyaletdinov: "Well then, eat me alive right now."Reporter: "No, I mean..."Bilyaletdinov: "Eat me, and I won't be here any more."Reporter: "But we have the world championship coming up!"Bilyaletdinov: "Well then, there will be a different coach because I won't exist any more, since you will have eaten me."

February 18, 2014

"I would like to professionally continue my education and hopefully become an attorney. I think that's the best way to stop the miscarriage of justice that happened to me from happening to somebody else...[I am] a scapegoat [for] the government, the president, the attorney general...I don't know what they're thinking or why they're thinking it, all I know is that they're doing it. I don't know what agenda they have."

– George Zimmerman, who was acquitted in the killing of Trayvon Martin

February 17, 2014

"The Founding Fathers...put certain restrictions on who gets the right to vote. It wasn't you were just a citizen and got to vote...One of those was you had to be a property owner. And that makes a lot of sense, because if you're a property owner you actually have a vested stake in the community."-- Tea Party Nation president Judson Phillips"The Tom Perkins system is: You don't get to vote unless you pay a dollar of taxes... But what I really think is, it should be like a corporation. You pay a million dollars, you get a million votes."-- Silicon Valley entrepreneur Tom Perkins"

February 14, 2014

"It's an absolute infringement on people's beliefs. What's being taught is just as much faith and, you know, just as much pulled out of the air as, say, any religion."

– Missouri state Sen. Rick Brattin, whose bill would allow parents to have their kids opt out of any class where evolution is being taught