Say What? Archive

What a long, strange strip it's been

Welcome to the Doonesbury Say What? Archive

Say What?

May 13, 2015

"Fox News' Megyn Kelly:"Knowing what we now know, would you have authorized the invasion [of Iraq]?"Jeb Bush:"I would have."

May 12, 2015

"You rural white people who are always saying things like 'Don't mess with Texas,' let me tell you something; you are among the most left-alone, least messed-with people on the planet. You can carry an assault rifle into a Chili's. What more do you want? The right to do it shirtless? You are practically your own independent country now. You've outlawed abortion. You've gutted government regulation. You're armed to the teeth. You're the white Somalia. Stop worrying about getting sucked into the New World Order. You are barely in the current world order. And the only reason we conduct military exercises in your area is there is no chance of accidentally damaging anything anybody cares about."

– Bill Maher on Jade Helm

May 11, 2015

"Carbon dating, all these things, really doesn't mean anything to a God who has the ability to create anything at any point in time."

– GOP presidential candidate Ben Carson, discussing his rejection of evolution theory

May 08, 2015

"We welcome war with the U.S. as we do believe that it will be the scene for our success to display the real potentials of our power. We have prepared ourselves for the most dangerous scenarios and this is no big deal."

– Iran Brigadier General Hossein Salami

May 06, 2015

"To be honest, I can imagine the kind of comparison you can make between the Charlie Hebdo attack of January 7 and this event. But there is no comparison possible, absolutely no comparison. You have an anti-Islamic movement, a very harsh movement against the 'Islamization' of the U.S. The problem of Charlie Hebdo is absolutely not the same."-- Charlie Hebdo writer Jean-Baptiste Thoret, distancing his magazine from the Muhammad cartoon contest in Garland, Texas"We don't organize contests. We just do our work. We comment on the news."-- Charlie Hebdo editor-in-chief Gerard Biard explaining the difference between his magazine and the Muhammad contest"

May 05, 2015

"You look at what's going on in Baltimore today, you know, you see issues that are raised there, and healthy marriages are the ones between a man and a woman because they can have a healthy family and they can raise children in the way that's best for their future, not only socially but psychologically, economically, from a health perspective. There's just nothing like traditional marriage that does that."

– Texas Rep. Bill Flores

May 02, 2015

"Since teachng this course, I have caught and seen cheating, been told to 'chill out,' 'get out of my space,' 'go back and teach,' [been] called a 'f***ing moron' to my face... listened to many hurtful and untrue rumors about myself and others... I am frankly and completely disgusted. You all lack the honor and maturity to live up to the standards that Texas A&M holds, and the competence and/or desire to do the quality work necessary to pass the course... All are being awarded a failing grade."

– Professor Irwin Horwitz, in an email to the students in his strategic management class

May 01, 2015

"CNBC's John Harwood:"...L.B.J. created Medicare in the mid-60s. Your hero Ronald Reagan campaigned vigorously against that, saying it would lead to socialized medicine, would end liberty in the United States. Who was right: L.B.J. or Reagan?"Sen. Ted Cruz:"It's not worth tilting at windmills. I don't know. I wasn't alive then..."

April 29, 2015

"I don't think we will survive another 1,000 years without escaping beyond our fragile planet."

– Stephen J. Hawking

April 28, 2015

"After the fall of the Soviet Union, the Americans felt that a new force was beginning to materialize, namely the union between Sunnis and Shiites...In order to prevent this force from materializing, the Americans did many things. The first thing they did was to plan and carry out the events of 9/11, in order to justify their presence in Western Asia, with the goal of ruling it."

– Gen. Ahmad Reza Pourdastan, commander of Iran's ground forces